Proud mama

I am a proud parent today. My oldest son completed his Criminology diploma and is now venturing onward to complete a degree. 

He continues to amaze and astound with his perseverance and strength. 

I recognize how difficult it was for him to be left behind when we moved, and to be thrown into adulthood while beginning his first year of college with little choice. There were times when he wanted to come home. There were times when he questioned his choice to complete his education. He is now half way complete and is looking forward to the next part of his journey. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Happy Easter

Easter. Renewal. Spring. The day of sugar and bunnies and eggs… but also a day to remember. Tomorrow we will remember what has been done for us, what path lay before us. What a wonderful blessing it is to be able to have this day. 

My son has been asking about the Easter bunny… mostly because he loves chocolate. He is 17, so his weekly reminders made me chuckle. I asked if he wanted the riddles and egg hiding, or just the sugar… and he just smiled. So tomorrow before church we will hide them one last year. To remember the smiles and laughter and enjoy the blessing of our children.

We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shining – they just shine. — Dwight L. Moody

Update: Morning of Day 6

Up this morning early so we can drive to Thunder Bay. In Winnipeg we stayed at the Holiday Inn (Airport) – we had stayed previously and it was great but this time we were disappointed. They are in the middle of renovating so maybe that’s why our service wasn’t great. All the hotels we have stayed at this far have been pretty good. My favourite so far was the Holiday Inn in Regina… Clean, had a supervisor for the waterslide, and the front desk guy was fantastic. 
My back hurts more today. I knew it would, sitting for so long in the car everyday, but I was hoping that I could pretend I was the way I used to be for just a moment… The ‘get in the car and have minimal uncomfortableness afterward’ kind of person. No such luck today, as I begin to have muscle spasms travelling down my left leg. I am thankful that my husband has been driving, my doctor gave me extra medication before leaving, and I felt pretty good the last 4 days. 

I was able to visit friends I have not seen in 8 1/2 years last night. I wish we had more time in Winnipeg, but given that we have to be in Nova Scotia by a certain date, we just cannot stay longer. 

Our oldest son is doing well (he is going to college in BC and elected not to move with us). He signed up for his courses for the Winter semester. Our daughter also seems well, still in Edmonton (and I wish we could have stopped there to see her!). Our youngest, who is travelling with us, is out of sorts and is acting like a crazy person. This morning he wanted to shower before everyone… (It was a big deal) and was throwing attitude – even after we let him. I suppose it is par for the course seeing as we have turned his life upside down, but it will be nice to have a sense of normal again soon. 

I’m ready for a great day… Even though I feel blah, I know that God’s hand is guiding us and His light is shining 🙂

“For the joy of the Lord is my strength…”

Life and Change

6 years ago my life became different. How I got dressed, got in and out of bed, showered… How I viewed my own self worth… 

I had began training for what I had thought would be a new career. I had left my husband and children for this training. 9 days before completion, everything changed – I just didn’t know it yet. 

I was off for a month. Sent back on course, I left again, not knowing my foot injury had never actually healed. After weeks of training, I gave in to the reality that I was actually making my foot worse. I went home. But little did I know that it would take two more years before someone would figure out why my foot was constantly swollen and I was constantly in pain. 

Two years was too long to be limping and favouring my better foot. Long enough, however, to mis-align everything and cause my vertebrae to slip from grade 1 spondylolisthesis to grade 2. Long enough to cause this same vertebrae to break in 4 pieces. And long enough to change my version of life forever. 

I live in constant pain, and over time I have gotten use to the way I have to do things. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I need help. 

10 weeks. That’s how long my husband has been living in Halifax, Nova Scotia without us. When he left I was working in a job I loved full time. The boys were at camp for the summer, set to return just after he left. No chance to say goodbye to their dad. No time to prepare themselves for this time away from him, as we were only told 2 weeks before that he was leaving. 

My pain does not just affect me. My children’s and husband’s life changed too. They stuck by me when I couldn’t walk and needed help with day to day care. They stick by me when I had lost hope. They do the things I can’t. And it affects them.

When my husband left we were doing okay. Now that my pain has decided to increase, I have come to realize how much I depend on him. Without him here, I do not get help getting dressed or getting in and out of the tub. My children do a lot – help with cleaning (which is constant when you have your house up for sale), cooking, driving… But they are at school during the day.

I am not complaining btw. This post is mostly a reflection on how things are going, mostly for my own self care. It takes me a long time to get dressed, and some days I just stay in the same clothes until I feel well enough to change. I have – so far- been able to get in the tub and getting out is a little more tricky, but so far with all the adaptations I have been able to accomplish the task. 

I am grateful for my husband and children. I don’t ever want to take their help for granted. I appreciate them. But I also worry about them. With all of these unexpected changes and events, I can see it affecting them. So I ask for prayers for my family, and I lift this up to the only one who has control. Thank you Lord for my family.

Fix my eyes

Things are upside down in my home. We have had a dear friend living with us for almost 5 weeks now after being in the hospital almost 2 weeks. He had a 5 bypass heart surgery and thankfully is doing quite awesome!

For me, this meant missing 2 weeks of work, making my office a bedroom, and some other adjustments in order to accommodate our friend. My husband has been outstanding and patient. My children have been, for the most part, well behaved.

My children are away on a trip and come back soon. This week at work it has been very busy… I finally caught up with all the clients and paperwork I missed while not at work and then I had some other things piling up on my desk at the last minute. With the help of my colleagues I managed to finish almost all of it today! I am so blessed.

The point… All of these trials, and difficulties, turn out to be blessings. I am stronger and wiser because of them. And on days when I am at work and I meet someone who is stuck, or just needs to see past the difficulties, I remember why I am here. This song reminds me as well:

Fix My Eyes by for King & Country

“Love like I’m not scared
Give when it’s not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on You
On You”